Sunday, July 25, 2010

To My Dearest Granddaughters

This is a poem I wrote for the granddaughters of my grandmother Betty Jean Geer. We all have a guardian angel necklace that my grandmother also has on her hand in her casket. It is a special thing we can carry with us and pass onto to our children one day.

To My Dearest Granddaughters:

I am sorry I had to go at such a quick pace. My body was tired and I couldn’t win this race.

I thought of you as I drifted away and wanted you to know I am whole again, I am in a much better place.

I know it is hard to understand why I had to leave, but I am still with you now for whatever you may need. Take this pendant and I will too and when there are celebrations or hard times I will be there to see you through.

When he asks you to be his bride, wear your pendant as I will wear mine.

When your heart feels heavy and you feel like you can’t go on, wear your pendant and I will help you be strong. My dearest granddaughter you are beautiful to me and I will always be here waiting, just you wait and see.

I Love You Always!

I'm Back!

I apologize for my lack of blogging over the past year. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my password and as I was laying in bed tonight it hit me! I have definitely thought of this place many many times over the past year as life has changed, I wished many times I had a place to write out my feelings. I feel like it will take me a thousand posts just to process this whole year. It was nice to come back here and see that I actually have followers. I welcome you and your opinions and please feel free to post a link to your blog as long as the content is appropriate.

So here goes nothing...
Isn't it amazing to sometimes look back where you were a year ago to see how you have grown? I celebrated my birthday this week. It ended up being just a very mellow day with the kids since my husband had to work. It was nice though, my daughter woke up and the first thing she did is come tell me happy birthday. It meant the World to me that telling me happy birthday was her first thought. I took some time to reflect and think of what changes I could make of myself "Mommy, Wife, Child, and Believer". I know most people hate getting older but for now I am embracing it. I am grateful for each day I am given.

A few major things have happened in my life since my last post. My grandmother went home to be with the Lord about 5 weeks ago. It is so difficult to see someone you care about be in pain and go through what she went through. She went into the hospital with stomach pain and didn't come out til an angel came to take her to her true home. Her treatment in the hospital was incredibly below standards and it ultimately caused her death. She was such a sweet and loving grandmother. When I was little one of my fondest memories was decorating who Christmas tree every year. She loved to decorate her home and her family around her as much as possible. The last time she and I got to spend some quality time together before she got sick will be the memory I will carry with me for the rest of my life. My mother, grandmother, and I went to hear my dads group sing at a local church. In the middle of that concert my grandmother grabbed my hand and we went to the altar together. We held each other and cryed together. It was so precious.

So shortly before she passed I had a cancer scare. I had surgery about 4 weeks ago and by prayers no cancerous cells ended up being found! Praise God! It was hard for me to go into the hospital without my grandmother. She promised she would be there when I had it. But I know she was watching over me. I am actually doing pretty well now. My pains seem to be better, but only time will tell.

My husband and I have gone through financial turmoil this year. After I lost my job my health continued to go down hill, so I was unable to work. It put strain on everything, our marriage and our relationships with others. You truly begin to see true colors and true friends when you are going through difficult times. We are getting there though. I finally feel like some stress is releasing from us. We are very grateful for all of the people who have helped us out. My parents and his parents have gone above and beyond for us.

On a lighter and much more positive note my dads group Trinity Gospel Trio made it on the Christian Voice Magazine top 100 charts!! Last month the debuted at #79 this month they moved up to #69!! I pray they keep climbing but just to be included on any chart is an amazing blessing! They had their homecoming a few months ago with Brian Free & Assurance and it was wonderful. Brian Free and the guys were so nice. Jeremy Lile is crazy with the bass...I literally felt the floor vibrate.

Thanks for reading! I will be posting more soon (now that I have my password again).

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'll Live Anyway

This is my dad singing a song he wrote called "I'll Live Anyway". The words speak for themselves but if you know someone who is struggling with an illness or if you are, this song is beyond inspirational! Enjoy!!

P.S. This cd will be out around Christmas (November)you can also find out more information about the group at:

I Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


This Blog is a HUGE step for me, I am a VERY private person and I felt led to share this with you. Maybe there is someone else out there going through some of the same things. Just know that God won't ever give us anything we can't handle!

These past few months have been a steady test for me. One trial and tribualtion after another. I had been unemployed for quite some time and we began struggling financially. I am the type of person that puts on a smile when I am crushing inside. I try and hide my fear or mostly my sadness. There are very few people that get to see me broken. As things have gotten tighter and tensions higher we eventually had to move in with my parents in hopes that we could get things "caught up". The thought of losing our house was hard because I felt like such a failure not to be able to provide that home for my kids. In fact we still have to pack things there because I haven't wanted to go back because the anxiety and heartache I feel there. Another hard part was moving in with my parents..."Hey mom I'm home and I brought 3 more people with me".My mom and I haven't had the best relationship so it was hard adjusting to things at first. There were a few times we "butted" heads but it aired some things neither of us knew about each other.

Our relationship now is more of a relationship rather than a quick hello and going our seperate ways. I am grateful for that because I have needed my mom more than I EVER have. I had also been having lots health problems and chronic pain after a couple of trips to the doctor I found out I had mono and arthritis. I have found a job but I have to say my boss isn't exactly the "easiest" person to work for. But I do get the joy of working with my best friend who in a heartbeat would be at my doorstep if I needed her. Friends like that are hard to find.

Needless to say we "thought" things financially would be considerably better after moving in with my parents but honestly I don't even know where to start sometimes. Today I called a bankruptcy lawyer at this point it seems its our only option.And to top it all my little (big) girl started KINDERGARTEN! I have really taken a heavy load these past few months and I am still standing tall. I feel like life is all about choices and I "choose" not to dwell on the things in my life I don't have and I "choose" to enjoy everything I DO have! Do I get down sometimes? of course! In fact tonight I was sitting here having a little pity party for myself and as I was looking online someone posted a video on facebook that touched my soul. It was actually a video called Audrey Caroline its on youtube. I got curious about the story regarding this little baby and found her mother has an amazing blog it was EXACTLY what I needed. As I began reading I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw something move quickly out of my sight. I don't know how to describe this but I felt PEACE!! It was like God just gave me a hug and held me, at that point I finally just let the tears pour!

The most amazing thing about feeling broken is at the point in your situation where you feel the hand of God. I know there are tons of people out there just like me. And trust me I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me its the last thing I want. I just want you (if you are reading this) to know there IS someone else out there like you. Everything we touch may fall a part and we may feel alone but we aren't. God is always with us and sometimes I think God allows us to feel the pain so we can feel his Glory. Lately the only thing getting me to 5pm has been the thought of my two kids standing at the door screaming "mommy!" when I walk through the door. I love my evenings of snuggling with the two of them as they tell me ALL about their day! I just try and keep a smile and know he is still GOD!! I am keeping faith in this journey because I know it has to end somewhere.

Mark 4:39-40 3
9He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

I have faith!! Do you?

P.S. Please pray for us tommorow as we meet with the lawyer for the first time!

Friday, June 19, 2009


I had seen Bill Maher on "The View" a while back as he was advertising for his movie religulous. I was so frustrated listening to him mock one of the ladies as she said God had spoken to her and he told her she needed to check into a mental institution. This movie is a comedy documentary that walks around asking people about religion and questioning and mocking their faith. Curiousity got to me when my husband and I were at Movie Gallery and I decided I wanted to see what it was all about. Of course the goal of the movie was to make religions look silly and he actually says that people which believe in God have something neurologically wrong with them.

In life we are faced with these type of people everyday and some are our loved ones. As Christians one VERY hard thing for me to understand is most of us don't love like Jesus would want us to. We ridicule others, mock others, and we of all judge others. The worst part of it all it takes place inside the church. I hear it in every church everytime I go...the gossiper whispering in the pew. Or the pianist is mad because someone wants to sing and they won't get their solo. I have literally gotten up and walked out of a church because there was a lady sitting behind me who talked about every person that came through the door. Whether it was there clothes or something they did or said she talked about it.

As Christians we are judged (I personally believe) more than ANY other religion. People despise us for some reason maybe it was a bad experience they had at church. Or MAYBE its because alot of us talk the talk but don't walk the walk. It is hyprocritical and is something even I am guilty of. How can we preach the Gospel if we aren't living our lives according to God's purpose. I have heard it over and over especially from the Hollywood crowd that God is a non judgemental God and basically live your life however you like, don't worry about the Bible to get to Heaven all you have to believe is Jesus Christ is the Son of God and was sent here to save us. I don't believe that at all, God is a very strict God and has provided with basically a rule book. To many people have one foot in the Church and the other out in the World.

We are all human and we will ALL make mistakes BUT we can't make mistakes just to say I will repent later. There may be no "later". Get the ridicule and gossip out of our churches welcome and love one another with support and true care. Be understanding to others and love ALL those we come across in our paths. Christians have caused the criticism that is upon us now its our duty to show what being a Christian is truly about. Surround new people in your church with your love. I went to a new church a few months ago probably 4-5 Sundays in a row not one let me say it again NOT ONE church member came up to me and acknowledged my presence. The final straw for me was a young lady came over and talked to a girl sitting next to me and never said "Hi my name is". The congregation was to into talking to their cliques and talking about clothes rather than welcoming someone to their church. For all they knew it could have been my very first time hearing the Gospel and all I could see were hypocritical stuck up people. Is that what you want someone to think there first experience seeking God? Think about it....

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Quotes & Scripture I love

These are a few scriptures and quotes I like. Enjoy!

At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable.
-- Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer

Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline in which everybody is constantly graded for performance.
-- Milton R. Saperstein

In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong. It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm.
-- Isaac Rosenfeld

No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?
-- Elbert Hubbard

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.
-- Ring Lardner

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
-- Desmond Tutu

A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.
-- Author Unknown

As we grew up, my brothers acted like they didn't care, but I always knew they looked out for me and were there!
-- Catherine Pulsifer.....I have two AMAZING brothers which I love more than they will ever know. They have been there through thick and thin and I am so blessed to have them in my life.

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.
-- Marc Brown

A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.
-- Author Unknown

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
-- Author Unknown

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
-- Clarence Budington Kelland

It is much easier to become a father than to be one.
-- Kent Nerburn

The first man a little girl falls in love with is her Dad.
-- Author Unknown

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
-- Hoosier Farmer
Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other -- it doesn't matter who it is -- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.
-- Mother Teresa

A mother,
There to support you,
And hold you up whenever you need her.
-- Laurel Stephens

Before becoming a mother I had a hundred theories on how to bring up children. Now I have seven children and only one theory: Love them, especially when they least deserve to be loved.
-- Kate Samperi

Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
-- Erich Fromm

If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
-- Peace Pilgrim

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.
-- Elisabeth K├╝bler-Ross

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.
-- Barbara De Angelis

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-- Dr. Seuss

Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.
-- Author Unknown

I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
-- Ray Croft

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-- Mother Teresa

1 Peter 5:10 (New International Version)

10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Matthew 18:19-20 Again, I tell you if two of you on Earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will fiProverbs 28:13
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.nd; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matt. 7:7

Romans 12:1
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship

Monday, June 15, 2009

What is a Good Parent?

Having my first child at the age of 19 I was placed into that "Young Mother" category. You know the one, the label that gives almost everyone around you to criticize your parenting style or provide their advice even when they weren't asked. It's been "I think you guys should do it this way". As I have let alot of it just slide and realize everyone just wants the best for the kids, it brings the question what makes a good parent? I understand everyone has their opinion and I have respected it but it still won't make my parenting change. I don't know of any parent that didn't make mistakes but the thing about parenting is every child is different. No one has all the answers but we can just pray for guidance and know that God's watching and knows our hearts and sees our love.

I have said it once and I will say it a million times before in my opinion self confidence is the biggest gift you could give your child. My focus has always been giving my children the self confidence to be able to stand up to peer pressure and be comfortable with whom they are not what someone else wants them to be. Its something I wanted to instill very early on so when they started school then became pre-teens and then teenagers they didn't have to feel the need to get involved with the wrong crowds or be the class clown to "look cool". I just want them to be comfortable with themselves. Self confidence is the foundation to their healthy relationships, education, and careers.

But I am interested in what everyone elses idea of a good parent is? In my opinion it doesn't matter how you can eat off of your floors, or how you have made a schedule for every minute of everyday, or how you spent 24 hours a day teaching them words out of a dictionary. You could team them every language and prepare them beyond belief for college and think your child is going to successful because you have raised them to be smart. The truth is, I know tons of kids like that but they never went to college. There parents trained them for college but they fell into the wrong crowds and decided they were now adults and no longer had to follow the strenuous schedule of studying everyday.

I once had a friend tell me that he wanted his daughter to believe she was better than everyone. It sent a chill down my spine to hear that. That is where teaching them the difference of arrogance and self confidence. Also teaching a child to respect others. I strive for my kids to understand they can do anything they put their minds to but also for them to understand they are no better than anyone. We are all the same we just all make different choices for our lives. Ones choice may be great for them but completely wrong for you. It doesn't make them less of a human. The most important thing is ones happiness.

As far as discipline goes I try to discipline my kids based on the circumstance (and age). My son whom is two usually gets sent to "time out", only long enough for him to know he is in trouble and give him time to correct his behavior. I then go to him and explain to him why he is in trouble, if it is for hitting or pulling his sister hair then I make him apologize and give her a hug. Now it has become almost automatic for him he goes right over to her and hugs her and says "sorry sissy". For my daughter who is five she usually gets sent to her room with no television. The same goes for her too I go to her and then she must apologize to whomever she hurt.

My kids are not the quiet little kids that are always polite or that have every hair in their head in place. In fact, they are rarely quiet but to me and my husband they are perfect. They are happy, active, loving, and healthy kids. To end this I want to say I think a good parent is the kind of parent that just gives their child all the unconditional love they can imagine. Our parents could have never prepared us for all the obstacles we were going to take and I know I can't do that for my kids either. But in the meantime I'm just going to do what I know how...Love them!!

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
-- Charles R. Swindoll

P.S. Encourage your kids non stop. Remember every positive thing you say to them there will be someone else saying two negative things. Be the best you know how to be and don't stress over everyone elses "scheduling or discipline". God knows your heart and that's all that matters!!