Life Goals

Today was an awesome day with two hilarious kids. My son Brayden whom is two has learned the song "This little light of mine". Well I should say he has learned parts of it. He has been walking around singing

"shine, shine, shine, shine"

and every once in a while you will hear a "phew" (he won't let Satan blow it out!). It is the cutest thing ever! But every time he starts singing it is a reminder to me I can't let Satan blow my light out either. Great lesson from a two year old. But I know God put those words on his lips and I am grateful for them.

I was married at the age of 18 and a mother to my daughter at the age of 19. I thought like any TEENager that I was ready for motherhood but I wasn't. I had already quit school and "intended" on going back. Every year it got tougher and tougher or maybe just more excuses came along. Six years later here I am a mother of two and no college education to count for. So I have decided I AM going back to school this year. I really want to prove to my children you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. Not only that but I hope I can be a role model for other moms that are in the same situation I am in. Because lets face it the last thing us mothers think about is ourselves. But this is the most non selfish thing a mother OR father can do.

It's going to be difficult but what isn't? I am excited and for the first time in a REALLY long time I am proud of myself. My goal is to finish with a business degree and one day open a Charity (ironic, I know). I want to be able to help other parents with getting back to school. I want the Charity to focus on single parents that don't have help such as babysitters. I want to help with providing a safe haven for the family, financial counseling, childcare, study groups/tutoring, and job interview classes, job hunting assistance. When the schooling and program is over I want to assist with purchasing their first home. It's a dream but I am a dreamer and my mind is set.

I know what it is like not to have time to study and I have a husband. I can only imagine for a single parent trying to work and go to school what it must be like. I want them to have hope they can go back to school. The financial counseling is important to me because I don't feel like alot of people are not prepared to be homeowners until they have more education about money. Being a homeowner is a big investment and to most it is just a dream. But I want it to be a reality and give people something to work hard for.

I know with enough support from my family and friends (and bloggers), I can get through school and accomplish my dream goal of my own Charity. So I am going to keep dreaming and never give up, not this time.

God's Will

Today I wanted to focus my daily devotional on God's will. We don't always understand why God doesn't answer our prayers or why we cant heal all the sick people we love. A lot of times I begin doubting my faith and believe I am not doing something right. Which is exactly what the devil wants us to believe. He always finds a way to sneak in our minds and makes us believe we aren't good enough.

Reading through scriptures I found one in particular that I again, have read many times but struck me in a very different way. (I love how God does that ) The scripture was Matthew 26:36-46 it talks about Jesus in the Garden praying to God before he was arrested. He went up on the mountain three times and prayed the same prayer three times...O my Father, if it is possible let this cup pass from me, nevertheless, not as I will but as you will. So I read this and realized the chosen son of God couldn't change Gods will and purpose for his life. God had a plan for Jesus just like he has a plan for mine. No matter what my flesh wants and what I may go through it wont be done unless it is God's will. Jesus even had to pray for Gods will, and he knew if he was to have to die it was going to be for the Glory of Christ, but Jesus in the flesh didn't understand why he had to go through what he was facing. Even Jesus asked Father why has thou forsaken me.

Of course we are not going to understand why we have to struggle I choose to believe that when I go through hard times and I can't find God he has turned his head away just like he did when Jesus was suffering on the cross. And when he does reveal himself to me its like no other feeling. I see God in a whole other light!

One of my favorite scriptures talks about suffering its 1 Peter 5:5-11. This passage is eye opening...

But may the God of all grace, who called us to HIS eternal glory by Christ
Jesus, after you have suffered a while, will perfect, establish, strengthen, and
settle you.

I think one of the hardest thing to learn as a Christian is Gods will. We want to lay hands on the sick and heal them, which is possible but it has to be Gods will. We will never understand all the struggles but we must always keep our head up and know that God has a purpose for it. Praise God when times are perfect and when times are rough. If we don't praise him when times are good then he will find a way for you to cry out to him. Anyway, I thought I would share my devotional today because it was special to me.